I use to be, but once was enough

I use to have a very Type A personality. I was always in a hurry to get things done, always looking for a fight, and always wanting to take an authoritarian lead.

I thought I was pretty good at this. I could pick fights with customer service representatives and even once got an order for a t-shirt for free that had been back-ordered indefinitely. I was always read to argue with the teacher or anyone else who I knew was wrong. However, I found this method often left bridges burned that didn't need to be burned. In a desire to be tough and bring the hammer down I sometimes dealt with others in a way that ostracized them from me instead of addressing the actual issue. The Type A techniques tended to attack the individual instead of the issue. I burned bridges with people and had to deal with issues on my own instead of just working with them to solve the issue.

Now, I take a different approach. It is certainly not a Type B personality, but a mixture. I am more authoritative in my leadership and dealings with others. I am more deliberate in my dealings with others and issues. I also try to keep the focus on the issue and deal with things in a way that doesn't attack the person. Instead of getting mad at the customer representative on the phone, I express my thoughts and concerns about the actual issue. This seems to actually solve the issue better than just yelling on the phone. It also makes things much less stressful. There is still the time when one must draw the line and be willing to cut loose on a relationship or business contract, but those times must be deliberate and appropriate. Not just because you want to be tough. I think I may have had an easier time dealing with people under a type A personality, it is easy to be a jerk, but I enjoy being around people much more now.

Once was enough.