Our Kind Shall Not Pass This Way Again

Lawrence Millman wrote a book called Our Like Will Not Be There Again. The book is about rural Ireland, but I have always liked the title and associated myself with it, especially in the outdoor setting, though I usually get the title wrong and call it Our Kind Shall Not Pass This Way Again.

I worked two summers at Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico. I was a Ranger, preparing scouts for their trek, teaching them wilderness survival skills, camping techniques, and going with them on the trail for the first few days. Philmont had been a scout ranch since 1938 and I enjoyed looking at the old photos of scouts, hiking in their uniform, though they were usually posed.

Perhaps easily impressed by their sharp appearance, I acquired a 1960's scout uniform and began wearing it on the trail. I would only hike with an external frame, usually opting to not use the waist strap, trying to mimic the ruck sacks the scouts use to use. I would often read about life at Philmont in the early days and would often times go hiking to explore some of the earlier camps.

Wearing 1960's Scout uniform and an external backpack while working on orienteering with a crew. Note bedroll instead of a sleeping bag and lack of use of chest strap.


Posing with black bear in 1960's Scout uniform

On one of these expeditions, I went to a place called Stony Point. Stony Point had been a day camp, a hiking destination for the scouts, back when Philmont was called Philturn. The only thing remaining of Stony Point is some old firepits and tin cans. While exploring the area, a Rocky Mountain Big Horn walked out. These were known to be in the area as the state of New Mexico had released some in the Wheeler Peak area just west of the ranch,. According to the Camp Director however, this was only the second sighting of one on the ranch he knew of. The big horn ewe came out, saw me, walked a half circle around me, and settled on a spot about 10 yards away, drinking water from the rocks. I sat there with the big horn for 15 to 20 minutes before I spoke to it, half expecting it to speak back to me with some message from these scouts of old. The ewe just looked at me, so I got up, walked a half circle around her, then departed from Stony Point, following the path of an old Jeep trail, back to the modern era.

The area was also home to several towns that were centered on mining or lumber. One of these towns, Ponil Park, exists today only as a ghost town. There are a few foundations left, the bed of the old railroad, and the graveyard. I often times visited the graveyard, studying the stones, taking pictures, and thinking about the people who lived there. Another graveyard existed in a canyon appropriately named Graveyard Canyon. I visited this graveyard, photographing it and mapping it. I once took a group of scouts to another other graveyard in the Valle Vidal near Seally Canyon that existed, though I know not what the place was called. After doing so I felt as if I had disgraced the site and verbally apologized to those who remains laid there, as if they needed it or could hear it.


Railroad bed in the North Ponil Canyon


Gravestones in Ponil Park

The land was also home to the Anasazi. There was a cave that was well rumored to exist in a box canyon that contained several artifacts from the Anasazi. I set out on an expidition to find the cave, taking information with me from those who claimed to have been there before. The expedition failed, I never found the cave, but did feel as if I was closer to these people who once called the land home.


Anasazi Petroglyphs

Wearing these clothes, choosing to not utilize the gear that modern technology offered us, and hiking in their footprints, I felt connected to a group of scouts I had never met or even seen. Perhaps connected to the people who lived on the land before the UU Bar ranch was created. Perhaps to the people who lived here before the Europeans arrived. Knowing few would tred in these footsteps again, I felt like I was the last of a people passing, as if our kind would never pass this way again. I felt I was a member of a group of people, as if only time separated me from them, as if I was born too late.


Grassy Creek in the Valle Vidal


Little Costilla


View from Mountain Lion Canyon Meadow

Our kind will not pass this way again, or perhaps our dreams will not create this reality again.

What is sin?

What is a sin? The question came up with the classic question, if you were harboring Jews and the Nazis came to your door, would you lie? We both agreed that lying in this case would be justified, but for different reasons. His justification was that while the person was sinning as the Ten Commandments say thou shall not lie, they would be able to repent in the future. So by sinning, lives would be saved and the person could repent for their sin. I argued that the person did not sin in lying. My justification for this is that while the Ten Commandments do say to not sin, Jesus reminds us of what the goal of the Law was, to love God and to love your neighbor. Jesus broke several commandments, for which he was called out on. He justified himself, in one instance saying "is it better to do good or evil?" Perhaps by not lying I could feel that I had not sinned, but I did evil by allowing innocent lives to be taken. But if I lied, I would be doing good by protecting the innocent lives.

So what if a person was on trial, and I knew that this person was evil, that if they were not in jail that they would harm people, and that they were on trial for something that they were innocent of. Would I be justified in bearing false witness to make sure this evil person did not do harm? I would be saving innocent lives, but I would not be justified.

Micah 6:8 tells us that we are to love justice, give mercy, and walk humbly with God. To lie in this situation would not be loving justice. This does make an assumption that our justice system is just, we will operate under that assumption. To intentionally lie in this case would be against justice. While this person would get what was coming to them, we would not be justified because we went against justice. We should instead stand up for this person who was falsely accused, for then we would be supporting justice. But in doing so, we would have to find a way to protect the innocent lives we know are at risk.

To lie in the first case is justified because the government was unjust. To lie in the second case is not justified because the government is just. I think. We must ensure that we love justice, give mercy, and walk humbly with God for this is what he desires.

So given this, how was Rebekkah justified in telling Jacob to lie to Isaac that he was Esau?

Who do we follow?

My freshman year of college I had a professor who recommended that we read biographies. I'm sure he even had us read one, though I don't recall what it was. He said we should read biographies because people before made mistakes and we might as well learn from them instead of repeating them.

Based on his recommendation, I read the biography of Ben Franklin and Nelson Mandela. Learning from the mistakes of others made sense, and I saw the principle applied in my work. In teaching, I would seek out the research of others, those who had tried things in the classroom, in order to see what techniques worked and what did not. In the military, I often read the reports of others to gain ideas about what to put in future reports or recommendations to make about operations. Little work is of my own, perhaps the processing part, but the ideas come from others.

In life, when faced with a new problem, it is easy to find someone else who has gone through the same thing and seek their advice. But what happens when you go through something and can't find that person? What if you were doing something you knew many others had done before you, but you didn't know any of them and no one else you knew knew them. What if you had to do something and had no idea what was about to happen?

Perhaps in the future someone else will follow this same path and I can lend them my map, the path that I took to arrive at where I am now. It won't be perfect, I made mistakes. So did those before me. I tried to avoid their same mistakes. If you are coming behind me, heed my stumbles, find another way around. Perhaps we are meant to go alone sometimes.

At least we're all OK

One morning at Sunday school at a United Methodist church, a lady talked about how a local Methodist school was having to reduce its services because their donations had decreased with the recession. The class all agreed that it was a shame this was happening. One member commented that it was a shame that people wanted us to send our money overseas when we had such a great need at home. Most agreed. The church was about to start an $8 million construction project to build a new sanctuary, a local Methodist school reduced its services due to lack of funding.

UFO

Jim Sullivan was a unique musician in the 1970's. In 1974, he was convinced to go to Nashville to start a career. He was driving for 15 hours straight when the police made him get off the road. He ended up in a hotel in Santa Rosa, NM, then later got back on the road and drove 26 miles down a dirt road into the wilderness. He had an encounter with a family, then was never seen from again. His car was found abandoned.

Here is Jim Sullivan's UFO.



Lyrics.

Shakin like a leaf on the desert heat,
his daddy's got a bog that's hard to beat
Bought me a ticket got a front row seat.
I'm checkin out the show
with a glassy eye.
Looking at the sun dancing through the sky.
Did he come by UFO?
Lotta tricks were pulled in a book I read.
Only man I know that got up from the dead.
Lotta people living by the words that he said.
I'm checkin out the show
with a glassy eye.
Looking at the sun dancing through the sky.
Did he come by UFO?
Think he'll ever come again a different way
and maybe he has come and gone while I was away.
Too much goodness is a sin today.
I'm checkin out the show
with a glassy eye.
Looking at the sun dancing through the sky.
Did he come by UFO?
There is something happening that isn't too clear.
Just a little different than in previous years.
I think that happiness is getting very near.
I'm checkin out the show …
with a glassy eye.
Looking at the sun dancing through the sky.
Did he come by UFO?

Be still! It's a man

I love the outdoors. Whether it is kayaking down the river, hiking through the mountains, or watching birds in my backyard, I love seeing nature. Seeing life as it is without man.













But it seems that nature does not like man. Most animals as soon as they catch the scent of a man, freeze or run off. Marty Robbins captures this perfectly in a song, Man Walks Among Us. The beauty of nature, and the fear of man.

Going it alone

I've written in the past about my desire to have a mentor. Someone to help guide me in life, to give me advise, to be candid about how I am doing. To have someone like this, one must be willing to submit to them. I am willing to open myself up to a mentor, to allow them to look at and analyze my life and give recommendations. But I haven't found anyone willing to be one.

I approached a person once about being a mentor and their response was that I didn't need one, that I was doing just fine. I knew the answers, I just needed to act them out.

I recently was talking to someone about life and the desire to find advise for some decisions I was making. I had been unable to find anything from pastors, books, or online. He said that maybe God just wanted me to depend on Him for the decision.

Perhaps he is right. I have had a mentor the entire time, God.

Missile away!

Everyone has been freaking out about this supposed missile launch off the Pacific coast.



Is it an airplane? Is it ours? Is it the Chinese? Is it the Virginians?

In Virginia, two drivers got in a fit of road rage when one cut the other off on I-95. The victim chunked yogurt at the offenders vehicle. The offender responded by brandishing a handgun. Both then called the state police who directed them to pull of the highway where they were both arrested. The offender was charged with being a bad driver and brandishing a handgun. The yogurt chunker was charged with felony “throwing a missile at a vehicle.”

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local-beat/Road-Rage-Yogurt-vs-Handgun-106917938.html

Sittin' right under the X in Texas

Here is Hank Wangford and the Hankerchiefs performing Under the X in Texas.



The X in Texas is in the center. The center of Texas is just north of Brady. Let's check it out.

Our first stop is the heart of Texas, the city of Brady. The most important and interesting building in any county is the courthouse. This one proves to be no exception.



We have a few minutes to kill, just let's go check out the furniture store across the street.



Nice.

North on US 377 about 20 miles will take you to the Heart of Texas Park.



This is the ceremonial Geographic Center of Texas. The actual center is about 5 miles away, but who's counting?

The park has picnic tables like any roadside park, but also includes this tower.



Now, I'm not really sure why there is an observation tower here, but I guess it seemed appropriate for the center of Texas. So let's check it out!

The view from the top.





The graffiti on the tower.



This one is interesting. He scraped the paint off so it rusted and stands out quite well.



Robert W wrote his name on every step.



Jordan wrote his name in gum. Impressive!

That's it. The center of Texas, under the X, smack dab in the heart of Texas, thank you Ma'am.

Conspiracy in the sky

Saturday as I was driving down the highway, I noticed these clouds.



Now, one might assess that they are contrails from aircraft as I was near the busiest airport in the world. But who are we kidding, we all know they are chemtrails.

[cue coast to coast intro]

Song of the week

I love this song.

Guy Forsyth's If I was sick

A day in West Virginia

This past Sunday I was traveling back from Ohio with my girlfriend. Our travel took us through West Virginia. Not being in a rush, we spent a few additional hours exploring the state. Our first stop, Charleston to see the Capitol.

We parked to the east of the capitol and both my companion and I needed to use the facilities. A public building like the capitol seemed as good as any place to find a restroom.

Parking on the side of the building, we came first to the side entrance.



The side entrance to the capitol was locked.

We followed the sidewalk around to the front. We found a statue of General Stonewall Jackson along the way.



At last we came to the front of the building and the statue, Abraham Lincoln Walks at Midnight.



All the doors to the capitol were secured and we had to go to the Exxon nearby to find a restroom.

Our next stop was the New River Gorge Bridge. We took US 60 and WV 16 to get there. It was a beautiful drive.

Arriving at US 19, we turned north to cross the gorge.

The bridge doesn't seem too exciting from the car.



You would have no idea you are driving over this.



We pulled into the Visitor Center and checked out the exhibits, as well as the observation decks. They have one by the Center for looking down the gorge, as well as a walkway leading to great views of the bridge.





The bridge replaced the Fayette Station Bridge which is visible down in the gorge.



Speaking of Fayette, did you know Fayetteville, WV is the coolest small town? It says so on the sign!



Of course driving through West Virginia, we sang some John Denver!

I forgive you

It is rare that we say the words, "I forgive you." We are certainly familiar with the words, but how often do we use them? When someone wrongs us, sometimes they apologize for their actions. Our usual response is "it's OK." No it isn't! It isn't OK! If it was OK there would have been no need for them to apologize! They are apologizing because they wronged us and when we says "it's OK," or "no worries," we are acting as if they never wronged us in the first place.

Try to say "I forgive you" the next time someone apologizes. The meaning behind it is much different. We aren't excusing the actions, we are acknowledging the actions, accepting the offender's apology, and no longer holding the action against them. We are forgiving, not excusing.

Try it!

Love and sorrow in Pensacola

I was in Pensacola, Florida for the night last night. The highlight of my visit was getting to go to Whataburger for breakfast. Living in a state that doesn't have Whataburger, it is a big deal to get to go to one when the opportunity arises. That opportunity was this morning.

I had a Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit for breakfast. I cried tears of joys.

I read the ketchup package that said "MFG for Whataburger San Antonio, Texas." I cried tears of sorrow.

My love of Whataburger was slightly tarnished when they left Corpus Christi and moved the headquarters to San Antonio. But the shine returned as I bit into the HBCB, with honey butter dripping off my chin and oozing off my fingers. Oh the goodness of Whataburger.

Momentous Moments

I missed two momentous moments in my life the other day. One, my truck turned 90,000 miles. Two, I turned 10,000 days. How could I have missed such important milestones?

Time Machine

The Internet Archive has a program called the Wayback Machine. Using the Wayback Machine, you can view how websites looked in the past when the machine cataloged the pages. I find the news websites to be the most interesting, to see what the headlines were on a specific day, especially since I know how the story turns out.

Today I was looking for a file on my computer when I came across an old profile that was setup on my computer when I first got it. When I first got my computer, it had Windows XP home addition. I had bought Windows XP Professional for the computer I had prior to this one so I thought I would just upgrade it. It seemed like an easy process until I executed it. I put the CD in the computer and said "upgrade." The computer said that since the version already installed was newer than the "upgrade" it would have to erase the OS and reinstall the new one. I said, sure! What's the worst that can happen?

Well, the worst that could happen was the OS was deleted and all my drivers were gone for my computer. The computer didn't come with restore CD's, instead it recommended using Windows Restore. Well, that doesn't work well when you erased the OS! Dell offered to fix the problem for a subscription fee of around $100 and Microsoft left me on hold for over an hour. I almost gave up hope until a friend recommended the Help Desk at school.

They did it! Not only did they diagnosis the problem in minutes, they even offered to download all the needed drivers from the internet and burn them onto a CD for me, all for free!

I thought I had lost everything, that my files were lost forever. Little did I know that lurking on my computer was that profile from the first few months of my laptop.

One of the files I found was a drawing a friend of mine made of his girlfriend. He had met a girl and started dating her and since I was out of the state for the summer I asked him to send a picture. Not having any pictures, he made a drawing. Spitting image!

They don't teach this in school

In school they teach things like reading, writing, and arithmetic, but why is it up to the Cesspool Brothers to teach children to not play with dead things?

Render to politics what is politics

In Sunday school we are studying 1 Thessalonians. Today in our discussion, the question came up of how the people of Thessalonica were able to chase Paul off when he was in other towns. What kind of jobs did they have that they could take time off and leave? The pastor immediately responded, "They were democrats."

Diversity?

Diversity is constantly harped on in education, the media, the work place, and from our government. Last week on the news, I heard that Georgia Tech's incoming freshmen class would be the most diverse ever. They then listed the stats the prove it. The stats were based on race and gender. Is this really all diversity is? How we look? Why not our backgrounds, how we think, our personalities, our traits, our characteristics, our abilities? Things that really make us different, not just how we look. Sometimes I truly wonder how far we have come since Dr. King said he had a dream. Reports like this make me think not very far.

Float On

I'm pretty content with my life as it is. If the rest of my life continued as it is today, I would do just fine. I would lack for nothing. Even when things go wrong they work out OK. But what if I changed a few things. Would it make it better? Would I later regret it or would I think how could I have done before without this? Would I just be content with the future no matter what?

Kayne's Right

Kayne West may be right, this may just be what I need in my life.



It's the best one yet.

Love in the hot afternoon

Couple of timber rattlers decided to make love in my backyard this afternoon.

The girlfriend waiting for her lover.



Here comes the boyfriend




Him saying sweet nothings to her




The following are not for children to see!







Couple of voyeurs

Song for the week

I have unfortunately only seen Sam Bush perform once, but what an amazing performance it was! He played with Lyle Lovett and his Large Band at Bass Music Hall in Fort Worth. During the performance Lyle had him perform this song.



What an amazing song.

I use to be, but once was enough

I use to have a very Type A personality. I was always in a hurry to get things done, always looking for a fight, and always wanting to take an authoritarian lead.

I thought I was pretty good at this. I could pick fights with customer service representatives and even once got an order for a t-shirt for free that had been back-ordered indefinitely. I was always read to argue with the teacher or anyone else who I knew was wrong. However, I found this method often left bridges burned that didn't need to be burned. In a desire to be tough and bring the hammer down I sometimes dealt with others in a way that ostracized them from me instead of addressing the actual issue. The Type A techniques tended to attack the individual instead of the issue. I burned bridges with people and had to deal with issues on my own instead of just working with them to solve the issue.

Now, I take a different approach. It is certainly not a Type B personality, but a mixture. I am more authoritative in my leadership and dealings with others. I am more deliberate in my dealings with others and issues. I also try to keep the focus on the issue and deal with things in a way that doesn't attack the person. Instead of getting mad at the customer representative on the phone, I express my thoughts and concerns about the actual issue. This seems to actually solve the issue better than just yelling on the phone. It also makes things much less stressful. There is still the time when one must draw the line and be willing to cut loose on a relationship or business contract, but those times must be deliberate and appropriate. Not just because you want to be tough. I think I may have had an easier time dealing with people under a type A personality, it is easy to be a jerk, but I enjoy being around people much more now.

Once was enough.

Time Won't Let Me

In 1966 The Outsiders saw their single Time Won't Let Me hit #5 in the charts.




The key line in the chorus is "time won't let me wait that long."

Someday I will probably have to make some decisions about things I have been putting off. It isn't that I am afraid to make a choice, I just never felt that it was time. I may have to make choices soon, I can't wait forever, time won't let me wait that long. But then again, I just might let myself do so.

I might not know, but who will know?

Terri Hendrix has a song called Be Willing. You can hear it on her myspace page.

It is a simple song that talks about being willing to go out and seek answers in life. To be willing to have an open mind to the world around you. To be willing to admit that you can be strong enough to know you don't know everything. Several lines stick out, the chorus especially, with the line "you're old enough to know nothing at all."

I agree with her. There is a certain peace in admitting that you know nothing at all. To always be seeking out answers.

I might have some ideas that I have learned along the way. I know they might not be the correct answer but I will share them with you. But that doesn't mean that you know the answer. I may not accept your answer, but I will listen. Yet, I will also continue to seek out the answer. Sometimes I might just be seeking the person who will tell me that my answer is indeed correct.

Will you accept my answer if it is correct, even if it is just for me?

At least we can laugh at it

I found a blog today, Stuff Christian Like. I enjoyed Post #550, Surviving Church as a Single. I would like to share a few of the 40 things that happen to singles in the church.

1. Your church doesn’t have a singles ministry. = + 1 point

2. Your church has a singles ministry but it’s combined with the college ministry which creates opportunities for conversations like this:
Student: “My roommate bought a microwave for our dorm room. I love being a Freshman!”
Single: “My 401K is underperforming.” = +2 points

3. Your church has a singles ministry but it’s a triad that combines college, single adults and divorce recovery. = + 3 points

4. Your church has a singles ministry but it’s the dreaded quad, combining college, single adults, divorce recovery and retired widowers that refuse to move to Florida. = +4 points

How true is this one! The church I currently go to has a singles ministry. I went for a few months but me and one other person were the youngest by 30 years and the only ones who had never been married. And this is a church of 2,000 people!

7. At church, people give you weird looks if you refuse to sit in the “singles” section of the sanctuary. = +1 point

We don't have one of these. I just get looked at funny for sitting by myself no matter where I am!

11. People are constantly volunteering you for things because, “you’re single, you’ve got so much free time.” = +1 point

I almost got in a fight over this one once, but at work! I was in charge of a meeting and had made a handout for it. As I was passing out the handout a co-worker said "figures you are single since you had time to make a handout!"

21. When friends invite you to their church they start the invite by listing both the quantity and hotness of the singles that go there. = +1 point

I've been told they are in Baptist and Non-denominational churches.

25. The person that leads the singles ministry at your church got married in 1964. = +10 points for each decade they’ve been married.

"Me and my wife lead the singles sunday school class. Would you like to join us?" At least he asked me if I was single and not if I was married.

30. Your best friend of 15 years gets married and then suddenly acts like a magical gap has opened up between you and decides that until you get married too you can’t be close again because you just don’t understand each other anymore. = +3 points

I was told by a friend of mine that it would be very hard for him and I to remain friends since he was married and I was single.

31. To justify giving a four week marriage sermon series to a congregation that is 60% single, the pastor throws out one blanket statement like this at the beginning of the series, “And you single people listen up to this too, this well serve you well when you get married too.” = +2 points

I run out of fingers to count on when I think about the number of times I've heard this comment.

39. You’ve developed highly sensitive, “They’re about to throw the bouquet” radar and know exactly when to leave a wedding. = +2 points

I do this for the garter toss.

We may be single but we still can laugh together!

Enough already! I'll buy your music!

I gave in to Ross King and bought his music today. I didn't buy Rhymes with Orange but the pretty good one that isn't for children, Perhaps I've Said to Much.



I am buying this CD on the heels of receiving another CD of his, Big Quiet Truth.



Now, I first bought Big Quiet Truth in High School when it was brand spankin' new. Somewhere since then it was lost/stolen/misplaced/sold, whatever. I didn't have it anymore but still remembered several of the songs on it.

The main songs I remembered were As Much for Me and Foolish to You, both great songs. As Much for Me is a song about how God's grace is just as needed by Ross as it is by those who have committed horrendous crimes. It can be easy to be like the Pharisees and raise our noses and say "at least I didn't kill anyone!" Yet God still holds our sins against us. A forgiven sinner gets into Heaven while the unrepentant proud good guy gets left outside. Foolish to You is based on 1 Corinthians 1:18-29 and John 14:6.

As soon as I got the CD I threw it into the player and played those two songs. I then let the rest of the CD play and a flush of memories raced back as I heard the songs that I knew in my youth.

I first met Ross when I was in High School. He was the worship leader one summer for the summer camp my church had. Being on the worship team I worked with him in planning evening worship. Several years later I attended Community Church in College Station. The first Sunday I walked in, Ross was sitting at a table in the back of the hall by the door. At the time Community Church met in the Hilton. As I walked in, Ross welcomed me then said that I looked familiar. I told him where we had met before, but as I walked away I told my friend who was with me that there was no way Ross recognized me from that. You know what, maybe he did.

As I listened to the CD one song in particularly hit me, Long and Lonely Fall. This song is great on so many levels. First, it just a good song to listen to. It is a simple guitar and mandolin with a drum and tambourine, but it is pleasant to the ears. Second, the poetry! Now, anyone who has read my blog knows that my taste in poetry is pry lacking, but I think Ross has some good lines in the song. Check out this one, "I wonder how Columbus felt when he landed on the show and knelt to pray/ think about it/ he had found America/ but he didn't know that India was so far away/ has my journey ended hopelessly?/ or have I made some great discover?/ all I know is/ even though there's peace my stomach say's I'm not OK." Maybe it isn't poetry, but it is a great line. Finally, the message of the song is amazing and hits me exactly where I am in life today.

The song is based on three pieces of Scripture, Psalm 43, 1 John 4:18, and Job 23:10.

Vindicate me, O God,
and plead my cause against an ungodly nation;
rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.

You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?

Send forth your light and your truth,
let them guide me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.

Then will I go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the harp,
O God, my God.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Psalm 43

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

But He knows the way I take; when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

Job 23:10

A while back I wrote about another Ross King song in my post, Not seeing is believing. In the post I wrote about how I might have spent my life planning for something that may never happen. I have come to the realization that this may be true. The plans I have been making for years have not been carried out the way I planned. I know I am better for the plans I made, but I am not where I planned to be. But through out it, these words ring true, "I don't want to put too much weight on this thing/ but sometimes it's a bit disheartening/ so I will trust You for the ending/ cause there's no use in pretending that I know/ oh Lord I need You so."

I do not know the ending, I only know where I am right now. I planned on one thing but ended up elsewhere. I continue to trust in God and this experience has only made my trust greater. I may feel down because my plans didn't pan out, and they were good plans!, but I have stayed faithful to God and I know that he remains faithful to me.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.