How did you do? Terrible

This past Sunday I taught Sunday school. The lesson went well and afterwards, many people gave me positive feedback, including a round of applause that broke out. But if you asked me how it went, I wouldn't give such positive feedback. I would instead think that it didn't go well and that it wasn't a good lesson.

This is a typical response of mine whenever I give any sort of presentation or have my work critiqued. As a teacher, I rarely felt a lesson went well, even if the students responded well or if teachers or my principal were present and gave positive feedback. I always felt I could do better and that what I presented was not good. When I take tests, I rarely walk out of a test feeling that I did well or knew the material, even if I do exceptionally well on the test. Sometimes it even seems that the better I do at something, the lower my view of my performance is.

I tend to think that this response is OK if not even good. I think it prevents me from being overly arrogant of my work. But if it prevents me from doing things that I am capable of, it is counter-productive. It is an odd balance of humbleness and confidence.

I do a terrible job at it.