At least we can laugh at it

I found a blog today, Stuff Christian Like. I enjoyed Post #550, Surviving Church as a Single. I would like to share a few of the 40 things that happen to singles in the church.

1. Your church doesn’t have a singles ministry. = + 1 point

2. Your church has a singles ministry but it’s combined with the college ministry which creates opportunities for conversations like this:
Student: “My roommate bought a microwave for our dorm room. I love being a Freshman!”
Single: “My 401K is underperforming.” = +2 points

3. Your church has a singles ministry but it’s a triad that combines college, single adults and divorce recovery. = + 3 points

4. Your church has a singles ministry but it’s the dreaded quad, combining college, single adults, divorce recovery and retired widowers that refuse to move to Florida. = +4 points

How true is this one! The church I currently go to has a singles ministry. I went for a few months but me and one other person were the youngest by 30 years and the only ones who had never been married. And this is a church of 2,000 people!

7. At church, people give you weird looks if you refuse to sit in the “singles” section of the sanctuary. = +1 point

We don't have one of these. I just get looked at funny for sitting by myself no matter where I am!

11. People are constantly volunteering you for things because, “you’re single, you’ve got so much free time.” = +1 point

I almost got in a fight over this one once, but at work! I was in charge of a meeting and had made a handout for it. As I was passing out the handout a co-worker said "figures you are single since you had time to make a handout!"

21. When friends invite you to their church they start the invite by listing both the quantity and hotness of the singles that go there. = +1 point

I've been told they are in Baptist and Non-denominational churches.

25. The person that leads the singles ministry at your church got married in 1964. = +10 points for each decade they’ve been married.

"Me and my wife lead the singles sunday school class. Would you like to join us?" At least he asked me if I was single and not if I was married.

30. Your best friend of 15 years gets married and then suddenly acts like a magical gap has opened up between you and decides that until you get married too you can’t be close again because you just don’t understand each other anymore. = +3 points

I was told by a friend of mine that it would be very hard for him and I to remain friends since he was married and I was single.

31. To justify giving a four week marriage sermon series to a congregation that is 60% single, the pastor throws out one blanket statement like this at the beginning of the series, “And you single people listen up to this too, this well serve you well when you get married too.” = +2 points

I run out of fingers to count on when I think about the number of times I've heard this comment.

39. You’ve developed highly sensitive, “They’re about to throw the bouquet” radar and know exactly when to leave a wedding. = +2 points

I do this for the garter toss.

We may be single but we still can laugh together!

Enough already! I'll buy your music!

I gave in to Ross King and bought his music today. I didn't buy Rhymes with Orange but the pretty good one that isn't for children, Perhaps I've Said to Much.



I am buying this CD on the heels of receiving another CD of his, Big Quiet Truth.



Now, I first bought Big Quiet Truth in High School when it was brand spankin' new. Somewhere since then it was lost/stolen/misplaced/sold, whatever. I didn't have it anymore but still remembered several of the songs on it.

The main songs I remembered were As Much for Me and Foolish to You, both great songs. As Much for Me is a song about how God's grace is just as needed by Ross as it is by those who have committed horrendous crimes. It can be easy to be like the Pharisees and raise our noses and say "at least I didn't kill anyone!" Yet God still holds our sins against us. A forgiven sinner gets into Heaven while the unrepentant proud good guy gets left outside. Foolish to You is based on 1 Corinthians 1:18-29 and John 14:6.

As soon as I got the CD I threw it into the player and played those two songs. I then let the rest of the CD play and a flush of memories raced back as I heard the songs that I knew in my youth.

I first met Ross when I was in High School. He was the worship leader one summer for the summer camp my church had. Being on the worship team I worked with him in planning evening worship. Several years later I attended Community Church in College Station. The first Sunday I walked in, Ross was sitting at a table in the back of the hall by the door. At the time Community Church met in the Hilton. As I walked in, Ross welcomed me then said that I looked familiar. I told him where we had met before, but as I walked away I told my friend who was with me that there was no way Ross recognized me from that. You know what, maybe he did.

As I listened to the CD one song in particularly hit me, Long and Lonely Fall. This song is great on so many levels. First, it just a good song to listen to. It is a simple guitar and mandolin with a drum and tambourine, but it is pleasant to the ears. Second, the poetry! Now, anyone who has read my blog knows that my taste in poetry is pry lacking, but I think Ross has some good lines in the song. Check out this one, "I wonder how Columbus felt when he landed on the show and knelt to pray/ think about it/ he had found America/ but he didn't know that India was so far away/ has my journey ended hopelessly?/ or have I made some great discover?/ all I know is/ even though there's peace my stomach say's I'm not OK." Maybe it isn't poetry, but it is a great line. Finally, the message of the song is amazing and hits me exactly where I am in life today.

The song is based on three pieces of Scripture, Psalm 43, 1 John 4:18, and Job 23:10.

Vindicate me, O God,
and plead my cause against an ungodly nation;
rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.

You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?

Send forth your light and your truth,
let them guide me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.

Then will I go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the harp,
O God, my God.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Psalm 43

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

But He knows the way I take; when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

Job 23:10

A while back I wrote about another Ross King song in my post, Not seeing is believing. In the post I wrote about how I might have spent my life planning for something that may never happen. I have come to the realization that this may be true. The plans I have been making for years have not been carried out the way I planned. I know I am better for the plans I made, but I am not where I planned to be. But through out it, these words ring true, "I don't want to put too much weight on this thing/ but sometimes it's a bit disheartening/ so I will trust You for the ending/ cause there's no use in pretending that I know/ oh Lord I need You so."

I do not know the ending, I only know where I am right now. I planned on one thing but ended up elsewhere. I continue to trust in God and this experience has only made my trust greater. I may feel down because my plans didn't pan out, and they were good plans!, but I have stayed faithful to God and I know that he remains faithful to me.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.