The dictionary has many definitions for family.
1. parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not.
2. the children of one person or one couple collectively: We want a large family.
3. the spouse and children of one person: We're taking the family on vacation next week.
4. any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins: to marry into a socially prominent family.
5. all those persons considered as descendants of a common progenitor.
Family has many different connotations that are used by people. People live with their family (1). People often marry to start a family (2). People work to support their family (3). We gather for dinner with family (4) on holidays. And of course, the family (5) reunion. When I think of my family, I usually only think of the first definition. My family consists of my parents, grandparents, and brother. These are the people who I grew up with, who took care of me, and continue to care for me.
When I think of my extended family, I don't really use any of these definitions. My extended family would be the reverse of fifth definition. My extended family are the ancestors of me. These are the people I am directly related to, my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great-grandparents, etc... I do not consider aunts and uncles and cousins to be my family. My uncle is part of my dad's family, but he is not in my family. Is this harsh?
I do not think so. I think it is a reality. A reality for me at least. I did not grow up with my aunts, uncles, and cousins. I grew up with my immediate family. I had to talk to aunts and uncles on Christmas and saw them once every fews years. I do not know these people.
Recently I spent some time with my grandfather. He was showing me an old photo album. I enjoyed seeing the photos of my dad when he was younger and my grandparents when they were younger. He then moved into the old photos and news clippings from the family in Iowa. His family (and my grandmother's) lived in Iowa for over 100 years and continue to live in southern Iowa. I really did not care much about people who were aunts, uncles, or cousins. But when he showed me pictures or articles about my great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents, I was facinated. I am sure this is because of my views of "extended family," but I noticed that family really is important to me, but I have a different definition than some people.
My family is a direct link to my past. I know that each member of my family has a family that is not the same as mine. But my family is my family.
Who is in your family?
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